On guard

Ever since my magic little pill started doing it’s magic,I have been on guard. Worried that tomorrow it won’t work any more and I’ll be the sniveling wife on the end of the phone complaining that I just can’t do it.

I’ve taken advantage of my new found happiness/ability to function. I’m using it to prepare. Prepare for the next installment of my unpredictable life. The cupboards are stocked,the freezer is full and there’s food for the week in the fridge.

You see,when the depressions claws drag me down to the rocky bottom,I can’t think about cooking or doing anything really.I’m already overwhelmed that I have to feed four kids and a husband along with the fact that there would not be any food in the house because I couldn’t bring myself to go to the store when everyone was at school.I wouldn’t have the energy to plan a weeks worth of meals,like I said,just the one day had me rendered paralyzed. When this did happen my husband would often help if he was home,run out and get a pizza or take the kids off my hands and with the silence I would somehow be able to rustle something up. I hated it being like this and the last time I was in the throes of depression I vowed to prepare as soon as I was better. But I am having a double winner here. Not only have I planned dinners for two weeks in a row now,I have been able to do my savvy shopping and walk out with way more than I would’ve paid for if I hadn’t used the sales. Before I had my first really bad episode I was a whizz at feeding the family good healthy meals on a budget. I got a kick out of it and would call my husband saying “guess how much I saved this week?” but this last episode went on and on and it was all I could do to go to the closest (most expensive of course) store and get just enough for the night. Well I’m back,baby!! Today I saved $89.88 and have enough dry goods,pantry staples,meat in the freezer and detergent to last us a couple of months!!! That means that even if I do have a rough day or few next week,I won’t really have to think.I’ll just be able to auto pilot dinner and fall into bed. Feels good though,with my husband being the main bread winner in this house I like to try and stick to budget so not to put more pressure on him. Also,when you feel good about something that you have done,it helps for the next day to be better.Well, sometimes. I guess I like to think so but to be honest,with this,you never know what’s coming until you open your eyes that morning,adjust to the light and see if your body is screaming at you or not. Because that’s life,mine anyway.

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